My Most Mortifying Experience in Practice (Otherwise Known as the Day I Threw a Dildo at a Client)

My first day in clinical practice was pretty awful.

A couple came in to see me because they were both troubled by the fact that the husband was having erectile issues. I began questioning the man about his masturbation techniques however I could see he was uncomfortable describing his solo work in detail, so…. I decided to grab a dildo and use it to demonstrate what I meant.

The dildo – which had a suction pad on the bottom of it so it would stick out like an erection when placed against a wall – makes demonstrations much easier; except on this particular day of course. I began slamming the dildo against the wall as hard as I could, trying to get it to stick, but alas, it still wasn’t working.

I felt like an idiot.

I decided to give up on my attempts to ‘stick-the-dick’ to the wall, and instead try my hand at sticking it to the table. This paid off….. for a moment. As I was demonstrating I suddenly felt the dildo come loose and before I knew it, it had flown off the table and across the room nearly hitting the poor wife in the face! She literally had to pull a Matrix move and duck to miss it.

I was mortified.

I tried to explain that I don’t normally throw dildos at clients heads…. during the first session at least…. but I could see in their eyes they weren’t impressed.
That was my first paid client. Impressive, eh?