The Breakdown
Size by Colour Range: From the largest, which is dark green 16.10-17.93cm (6.3-7.1 inches) to the smallest, which is dark red 9.66-11.67cm (3.8-4.6 inches).

The Truth
According to a study done in 1996 by urologists at San Francisco General Hospital – There is no correlation between the length of a man’s penis when flaccid and the same penis when erect.
The average penis is between 4-6 inches in length, and according to a common medical rule of thumb, anything within two standard deviations of the mean is “normal”. In vaginal penetration, the dimensions of the penis are almost irrelevant, because the elasticity of the vaginal wall makes it a “one-size-fits-all” organ and in anal and oral penetration, a small penis may actually be an advantage.

In general, the significance of penis size lies only in the mind…..

But what is semen?

Well as I’m sure most of you know, semen, or seminal fluid, is a thick, off-white liquid ejaculated from the male urethra at sexual climax. But what you may not know, is that sperm only account for approximately 1% of the total volume of the semen. A single ejaculation usually ranges between 2-5 millilitres (1 tsp), and contains between 100-700 million sperm.

Why such a vast difference in the number of sperm? Well ones sperm count can be affected by many things, such as wearing tight fitting pants/underwear, spending too much time in hot tubs, continuous heating of the testes due to strenuous exercise, and consuming many environmental pollutants (such as agricultural pesticides). Side note: According to research the average sperm counts in several Western countries dropped by nearly one-half between 1940-1990. A drop in ejaculate volume was also detected. Environmental toxins have been suspected to have contributed to this wide spreading effect on sperm in the US, Canada, and other countries over the last several decades.

So if sperm only account for 1% of the semen, where does the other 99% of the seminal fluid come from? Well about 70% comes from the seminal vesicles, approximately 30% from the prostate gland, and less than 1% comes from the testis. And within this mixture, there is a large degree of fructose (sugar), calcium binders (citric acid), enzymes, vitamins and antioxidants.

Semen Chart

Yes we all know antioxidants and vitamins are good for us, but so is a shot of wheatgrass and fish oil and I don’t see many men falling to their knees for a taste of those two. So what is the take home lesson of the day? Gentlemen’s relish does have some good properties, but seems to be decreasing by the decade. So what can we do? Buy organic, keep the family jewels in a spacious, cool environment, and help put Mr. Kleenex’s kids through college by refreshing the bodily supply often.

The bonobo, also known as Pan paniscus, is an endangered species of ape that – along with the chimpanzee – share approximately 98.5% of our DNA. However unlike chimpanzees (who are known to be quite a violent species) the bonobos motto is unequivocally; “Make love, not war”.

While reproduction is the original function of sexual behaviour, humans and bonobos have found other uses for sex that have no direct connection with producing young. Within the bonobo culture, females are sexually responsive for most of their ovarian cycle (advertising their yearning for sex through the swelling and displaying of their genitals), but they are also receptive when they are not cycling at all. Meaning, for the majority of the time a female is willing, there is no chance that sex will result in pregnancy. Females and males also frequently engage in homosexual encounters. When two females have sex for example, they embrace face to face while rubbing their swollen genitals together until both females reach orgasm. This behaviour, known as genito-genital rubbing, is unique to female-female encounters.

Now although the bonobos were never given a pop-up version of the Kama Sutra to flip through and consult, they are also doing quite well in diversifying their sexual positions portfolio. Front to front copulation is rare among mammals, as is the male-male homosexual position that involves rubbing penises while hanging from a tree branch, however the bonobos have mastered these with ease.

Now I’m sure there are a few readers out there that are still unimpressed with the bonobos sexual prowess, comparing our behaviours with them, using this as just another example of why humans trump all other species (although come on, I’d like to see any two men try and rub ‘joysticks’ together while hanging from a tree branch, seriously though…… I would like to see that). But I digress.

Bonobos top humans on the sexual front because….

Aside from physical pleasure, bonobos also use sex for the cementing of social relationships and formation of alliances, AND for the prevention and resolution of conflicts! For example, if two bonobos are faced with a conflict in food allocation, they will engage in sex (regardless of the gender) and then divide the food peacefully!
This means that on any given day, bonobos could spend a vast majority of their time simply ‘making love’. No war, an equal sharing of food and resources, and frequent sex that can result in mutual orgasms……

Does life get any better?

So next time you ask yourself what animal you’d like to be reincarnated as, consider the bonobo.
I know John Lennon would.

In just over a decade, the federal government has invested more than $1.5 billion dollars in strict abstinence-only programs (which were the only sex education programs eligible for federal funding).
Statistics:
• Among youth participating in “virginity pledge” programs, researchers found that 88% broke the pledge and had sex before marriage. Furthermore, once pledgers began to have sex, they had more partners in a shorter period of time and were less likely to use contraception or condoms than were their non-pledging peers.
• Evaluations of publicly funded abstinence-only programs in at least 13 states have shown no positive changes in sexual behaviors over time.
• No abstinence-only program has yet been proven through rigorous evaluation to help youth delay sex for a significant period of time, help youth decrease their number of sex partners, or reduce STI or pregnancy rates among teens.
• The U.S. House of Representative’s Committee on Government Reform led by Rep. Henry A. Waxman released a report showing that 80% of the most popular federally funded abstinence-only education programs use curricula that distort information about the effectiveness of contraceptives, misrepresent the risks of abortion, blur religion and science, treat stereotypes about girls and boys as scientific fact, and contain basic scientific errors.

Why should we care?
- Experts estimate that about one young person in the United States is infected with HIV every hour of every day. And that nearly 15% of the 56,000 annual new cases of HIV infections in the United States occurred in youth ages 13 through 24 in 2006.
- The NCHS reports a 5% national increase between 2005 and 2007 in teenage birthrates in the U.S; from 40.5 to 42.5 births per 1,000 young women aged 15-19.

Thank you Obama!
For FY10 – removing the streams of funding for abstinence-only programs, and creating funding for programs which have been proven effective at reducing teen pregnancy, delaying sexual activity, and increasing contraceptive use.
And for starting on a path that would put an end to the teachings demonstrated in the videos above!

Rape-Axe – as its name implies – was designed by Dr Sonnet Ehlers as a rape deterrent for women in South Africa (which has the highest rape rates in the world; 28% of men having raped a girl/woman in their life, and 1 in 20 of these men claiming that they have raped in the last year!).

The condom is meant to be pre-inserted by the woman when she feels nervous regarding her surroundings, adding an extra layer of unseen protection for the woman’s conscience. Once this special ‘reliance appliance’ has become latched onto a penis, it can only be removed by a doctor, with authorities on standby.

I’m suddenly feeling a MasterCard commercial ‘cuming’ on:
Condom Price: $2 dollars
Evening out on the town: $47 dollars
Hearing a would be rapist scream while the doctors surgically remove a piece of his private parts…… Priceless

On one particular evening when Mrs. Johnson was hitting a solid G6 in her vocal range, I pondered the effect the Johnsons were having on our other neighbor’s assumptions about the normality of sex within a long term relationship. Were these couples inflicted two-fold with the inevitable question of how often they ‘should be’ having sex? And what other factors lead us to want to classify what is normative in the bedroom?
Whats Normal?!
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Many women have stepped into my office with their husbands in tow, wanting nothing more than my support in justifying their anger with the fact that their significant other plays sexual solitaire. I listen attentively, commiserate with them for finding out the shocking truth, and then turn to their husband and say, “Congratulations for taking a step towards good health, I commend you in your actions. Keep up the solo work”.

Once the look of shock has firmly planted itself upon their faces, I take the lead in explaining all the health benefits to self-loving and why it is extremely important for the husband to continue in his quest for good sexual health by ‘getting in touch with himself’ on a regular basis.

Self-loving may do more for your partner than hitting the gym.
The Top 5 Reasons Why its Important for Men to Keep Up the Solo Work
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As a sex therapist, I get many books on love, sex and relationships crossing my desk. Some linger and are reread multiple times, while others are read, scoffed at and then tossed quickly from my sight. This is a list of the former: Five books that either caught my eye, educated my mind, opened my networks to invaluable dialogue, or simply stimulated my sex craving curiosity button for more than a fleeting moment. Here they are:
Top 5 Books on Sex, Love and Relationships
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On more than one occasion this summer I sat around a roaring bonfire and praised the maker of the Graham Cracker. For me, biting into a delicious smore is like an orgasm of the mouth; the melted chocolate, marshmallow and cracker combine to produce nothing less than a cascade of happiness for my taste buds. However, it wasn’t long ago when the makers of the Graham Cracker would have been appalled to learn of its current use, and my salacious “relationship” with its fine product. Why you ask? Keep reading to find out, the answer may shock you!
Test your sex savvy with the following ten shocking sexual facts

I try to make my rants on here as educational as possible by throwing in the odd statistic or society shocking must read book. But this week I’ve decided to skip most of the “did you know” part and veer more towards amusing (although I’m sure if you take the time to watch the ‘Killing Us Softly’ Video you will learn something).
Enjoy

The Good…. Messages Worth The Air Time

The Bad…. Killing Us Softly (Advertising and its effects on women)

And The Funny???…. Sex in Advertising

It wasn’t but a few weeks ago that I was faced with something far outside my comfort zone. Metaphorically speaking, my toes were hanging over the edge of the cliff and my heart was pounding. It was then that I asked myself… “Do I have the balls?”

Now, before I could take ‘the leap’ I was immediately distracted by my minds use of the comical saying. Where did it come from and why do big balls equate to something exceptional?

Before long I found my answer…. sperm competition and female promiscuity.

When you think about it, it’s obvious that our current sexual anatomy and physiology give us hints about the sexual behaviour of men and women during human evolution. For example, there is a direct relationship between testis size in a species and the degree of female promiscuity. When females are promiscuous, the competition between males of some species can continue AFTER mating – by means of sperm competition. The insertion of the penis can cause the ejection of sperm already present in the female from a previous mate, or part of the males ejaculate may coagulate into a dense plug that prevents later insemination by other males.

In species in which sperm competition is high, penises tend to be longer and testes larger so that a large number of sperm can be produced. For example, sperm competition is much more intense among chimpanzees than among gorillas, therefore the size of the testes is much greater in chimpanzees. In pigs (where mating is extremely ‘loose’) males have penises long enough to deposit semen directly into the females uterus and ejaculate can measure a pint or more in volume!

So how does the size of human testis compare?

The human testis, at 10-14 grams each, lie about halfway between those of a chimp and a gorilla (after accounting for differences in overall body size). Turns out, humans are about average-sized among primates as a whole. So what does this suggest? Female promiscuity and sperm competition have been factors in human evolution…..

And, the male with the biggest balls really does get the women.

Well after a little research I learned that nowadays, it looks as though these books have fallen victim to the viral industry. The webpage ‘Bedpost’ is a free site whose tagline is “Ever wonder how often you get busy?” Users of the site simply enter details of their latest sexual encounter – in a calendar black book type style – which includes everything from how long it lasted and who it was with, to a rating of the experience on a scale of one to five. The site then creates a map of your sexual activity and generates your own statistics and tracks your averages. So now when you’re laying in bed at night ruminating over whether ‘Hump Day’ (Wednesdays) truly lives up to its name, you’ll have a statistically verified answer waiting for you at your fingertips. Now Bedpost claims that the password protected site is for personal private use only, but I’m sure many users are thinking, ‘what’s the use of tracking your stats if you can’t compare?’

If comparing and sharing are up your alley, then the website ‘I Just Made Love’ might be more your style, as it allows users to do this on a global level. Individuals simply input where they’ve just done the deed (using Google Maps to mark exact locations), whether sex was indoors or outdoors and which sexual positions they tried. So, if you’re curious about your cities action meter, or which country favours doggy style, give the site a quick look up and down. You might be shocked by what’s going on down the street!

In Sex and the City Carrie was dumped via a post-it note. Harsh? Yes, but nowadays, there’s worse. A man by the name of Bradley Laborman, from IDUMP4U.com, is paving new ground in the break up scene by doing the dirty deed for you for a measly $10. May seem cheap, but Bradley’s getting his fair share out of the deal as he tapes his phone conversations and then posts them online for all to hear (check out the link above entitled ‘Bradleys Work’ to hear a short clip).

In Bradley’s eyes, he is performing a service by delivering the exit line for you. And surprisingly, many women agree, as women are his number one clientele. So what is the main driving force for using the service? “It’s fear”, Bradley claims, “I had one guy who couldn’t do it because every time he tried to do it, he’d end up having breakup sex with her and get back together. I think a lot of them have tried a couple times to break up with the person, and it’s just not getting through to them.”

Ok, so getting a phone call from a complete stranger telling you your relationship is over, pretty cold. But what about getting an anonymous ecard informing you that you may have an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection)?!

‘Hello Sarah, I’m so sorry to inform you that you might have an STI. We had fun but now we’re done and I’m sorry to say that I ‘came’ with strings attached. Tests reveal I have herpes. Please get tested.’

Anonymous egreetings can now be sent to your past sexual partner(s) explaining your current ‘situation’ down below. The program that is facilitating the ecards is called inSPOT, a non-profit organization dedicated to developing and using Internet technologies to prevent disease transmission and enhance the sexual well-being of individuals and communities. Now I know what you’re thinking, who wants to receive an impersonal ecard telling them they might have an STI?! Well no one, of course. But this program might be the best option when considering your choices. One, don’t tell any past partners and live with the guilt that you helped spread an infection (possibly life threatening or fertility affecting) to others. Two, tell them in person that you are the reason for the burning sensation between their thighs. Or three, send them an anonymous ecard with an apology and a list of all the closest STI clinics in their area.

IDUMP4U.com and inSPOT may be harsh in their delivery systems (I think Bradley gets a woody from delivering the bad news…. yes you do Bradley, just admit it), but don’t many adhere to the statement that all’s fair in love and war?
Or possibly – insert Jack Nicholson – YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

(Click here to watch a short video on the event)

Less than two weeks ago thousands of Sydney residents congregated at the famous Opera House to shed their cloths in support of a free and equal society. The Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras commissioned the famous American artist Spencer Tunick to take the picture, however neither party expected such a tremendous turn out.

Among the naked supporters were a pregnant woman (who was taken to the hospital shortly after the shooting to give birth) and a local weather man, who showed Sydney more than just the daily forecast.

“Gay men and women lay naked next to their straight neighbours and this delivered a very strong message” Tunick said. This was a message to the world, a message letting them know what Australians really embrace. It is stories like these, and individuals like Tunick, that help to spread these ideas to the rest of the world. Ideas that speak to the sameness of individuals, regardless of their sexual preferences.

Whenever I hear of such amazing events happening within our society I’m always moved. I often struggle with thinking optimistically about the future of gay rights, animals rights and mother nature’s rights. However stories like this bring me back to the power of the human spirit and the direction we’re moving in.

Thank you Tunick and thank you Sydney, for paving the way to equality…. one naked butt cheek at a time.

The ‘Smut for Smut’ program, which has drawn widespread attention during its campaign, has apparently done fairly well. Riding on the idea that the program presents a fair trade, group member Brian Talker states, “[Religious texts] are so full of genocide, misogyny and ludicrous ideas that far overshadow any banal common-sense platitudes like loving thy neighbour, that you are better off having porn, which isn’t nearly as smutty.”

Although many question the groups tact, the students profess that ‘Smut for Smut’ is an excellent way to draw attention to religious leaders and the hypocrisy of their condemnations of pornography. “They’ve been going and rallying against pornography for the longest time,” the unidentified student said, “and the disgusting, depraved acts that are within the Bible, Koran and Vedas completely outnumber any [faults] of any pornographic image.”

Christian groups have risen up against the program by establishing anti ‘Smut for Smut’ websites (drawing thousands of members) and by giving away anti-pornography literature in a booth situated across from the Atheist Agenda. As of yet, neither group has backed down and both continue to campaign for their cause.

Although I have always lobbied for freedom of speech, even I know better than to venture my unsolicited opinion on this topic. So I will simply say that I think it’s important to fight for our opinions, but not to believe that they contain the whole truth, or the only truth. And that we ought to always entertain our belief with some measure of doubt – a point I still struggle with – as I wouldn’t wish people to dogmatically believe any philosophy…. not even mine. So instead of inserting ______ Teesha’s thoughts here _______ I will simply leave you with the facts and let you decide whether you’re offended by this story, or you find gentle amusement in its progressions.

Gustav Klimt, who was famous for shocking Edwardian Europe with his sexually explicit artwork (most notably his 1902 “Beethoven Frieze”), is at the centre of the new exhibition. The museum felt that sexually explicit artwork, such as Klimt’s, was important and historic, but no longer shocking enough to the public. To combat this, the workers have combined artistic sexual expression with physical sexual expression. The result? Shock and amazement.

So what are the swingers actually doing in the museum? Well having sex of course. Orgies among the artwork begin in the evening and continue throughout the night. Visitors to the museum are therefore given the opportunity to overcome their inhibitions while ‘taking in’ as much of the artwork as possible.

My view? I think it’s fabulous that museums – often thought of as pretentious in nature – are not only embracing a radical and very liberated view of sexuality, but exposing this view for all to see. My swingers club experiences were not only shocking and liberating, but educational as well. The club that I first attended had multiple rooms with multiple themes (Arabian, Pillow Talk, Club Scene, Jungle etc) and each room had its own vibe. Some were very inviting, others had more of an exhibitionist feel. The rules of “No Means No” and “Ask Before You Touch” were strictly followed. And whether you were just there to observe or you were in to participate, everyone was overtly nice and welcoming. All and all, I think that more people could benefit from this type of experience. Now I’m not saying I joined in on all the ‘love’, but my opinion of the scene was positively altered but my openness to accept other peoples sexual expression.

My only critique is that all swingers could get tagged with an ‘orgy’ label. Many individuals who identify as swingers have more conservative practices that involve dating and couples only get-togethers. Be that as it may, I commend the museum for paving the way for a more liberated view of human sexuality. My motto: If it’s consensual and safe, all the power to you!

During Sydney’s summer games people were provided with 70,000 condoms and ran out! Beijing brought in 100,000 but had 5,000 left over. So what’s the lucky number? Well apparently in Vancouver its 14.6 condoms for each of the 6,850 athletes. Assuming that most condoms are used by couples, that works out to 29 encounters in 2 weeks, or 2 a day!

So why the condom spurge and sex extravaganza? Well, experts say it’s a combination of things. The fact that many athletes abstain from sex before the games, and that a large number of them don’t have steady partners because of their dedication to the sport (therefore they are more able to ‘hook up’ afterwards). Also many of the athletes are surrounded by alcohol, the party atmosphere and are constantly meeting new people.   

Ok so those reasons may seem obvious, but what isn’t is why we’re so interested in the athletes condom usage. Is it because we are bombarded with mysterious and alluring sexual imagery in media daily, and this imagery is almost exclusively tied to young, fit people… So athletes are sexy by definition? Are we just a sexually curious species, voyeurs by nature? Or is it because when it comes to sex, many people feel as though they are somehow missing out on something? Sex is sold to us as this amazing, mind blowing out-of-body experience. When in reality it’s usually messy, sometimes awkward and – for women especially – often lacking an orgasmic ending.  

Well regardless of the reason, I’m elated condoms are on the ‘must have’ list. As STI’s don’t discriminate, and the world is over populated enough. Although you can’t argue the fact that those athletes would produce some genetically gifted individuals!  

“Condoms aren’t completely safe…. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus!” ~ Bob Rubin

Wanna Bite?

Recently I was sent the book Natural Harvest – A Collection of Semen Based Recipes. The author proclaims that “Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cook book!”

The ‘Gourmand World Cookbook Award’ nominated book does present a plethora of recipes and tips for cooking with semen. However, my question isn’t so much why someone would want to cook with semen (as I personally feel that drinking milk that was squeezed from the teat of another animal isn’t that much better), but rather how consistent is semen as an ingredient? As sexual scientists we’ve studied the precarious nature of semen and its changing consistency between people and within each person throughout their lifespan. Some semen is quite acidic (such as the ones that leave yellow stains on a man’s ‘hanky’ socks/towels from his ejaculate) some semen sweet. Sweet is of course a relative term, as semen usually doesn’t taste like lollypops. But my point is, if a man is living on fast food and beer as opposed to fresh fruit and veggies, his semen is going to present with vastly different flavour properties. So, can we really trust the ingredient to taste as the chef intended it to? Or will each of these recipes be dependent on the donors’ lifestyle?

A quick sidebar before you try the Natural Harvest recipes, I should point out that the sous-chef (for lack of a better term) must not have a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI), a contagious blood borne disease, acute long term exposure to poisons, heavy metals, radiation or intravenous injections. The receiver must also be careful that they are not allergic to the semen, have cancer tumours that could contact concentrated ejaculate, or are sensitive to testosterone. However, if you and your partner are both free of the above constraints and want to try some tasty new recipes, please feel free! I would love to hear your reaction to the dish you made, and whether or not you’d recommend it to others…. as I think I might sit this one out.