Smirking or Non-Smirking?

The room becomes quite and an air of anticipation fills the space. I’m introduced and immediately the giggles begin. A few brave souls who have situated themselves at the front of the classroom look down in the hopes of avoiding the slightest eye contact. I begin to speak but notice that my words suddenly become meaningless as soon as the dildo makes its first appearance.

Sex education has become a passion of mine since I started in the field. Perhaps it’s the combination of public speaking and the shock value I get from candidly discussing everything sexual that I enjoy so much. Or maybe it’s the feeling that arises when I can see light bulbs click on over the heads of the audience. Either way, I’ve come to enjoy the expressions that result from the words “Does anyone know what this is for?” (as I hold a 4 foot flogger in my hand), or “Let’s talk about all the health benefits to masturbation”.

Now don’t get me wrong, not all of my presentations have been hugely successful. I’ve fallen on my face while attempting to show the proper whipping techniques, I’ve ripped a condom while trying to demonstrate safe sex practises and I’ve offended a gorgeous transsexual woman by not using the proper cis-gender terminology. However, through these highs and lows I’ve learned a lot and I’ve gained an even deeper passion and appreciation for the sex education movement.

Because of this passion, and the fact that I’ve “NEVER” met a person to date that hasn’t had at least one sexually related question to ask me, yes thats a quote… and you can quote me on the quote unquote I’ve decided to extend the blog page to include your questions. Please feel free to write me any sexually related quagmire you may have in the ‘Ask Teesha A Question’ section of this page.
(All questions asked will receive a detailed response, and will be treated with strict client/counsellor confidentiality)

So, click on the link and spill your guts because I know you’ve been wanting to ask somebody!

Ask Teesha a question!

Tweet

100,000 Condoms & Counting in the Vancouver 2010 Olympics!

During Sydney’s summer games people were provided with 70,000 condoms and ran out! Beijing brought in 100,000 but had 5,000 left over. So what’s the lucky number? Well apparently in Vancouver its 14.6 condoms for each of the 6,850 athletes. Assuming that most condoms are used by couples, that works out to 29 encounters in 2 weeks, or 2 a day!

So why the condom spurge and sex extravaganza? Well, experts say it’s a combination of things. The fact that many athletes abstain from sex before the games, and that a large number of them don’t have steady partners because of their dedication to the sport (therefore they are more able to ‘hook up’ afterwards). Also many of the athletes are surrounded by alcohol, the party atmosphere and are constantly meeting new people.   

Ok so those reasons may seem obvious, but what isn’t is why we’re so interested in the athletes condom usage. Is it because we are bombarded with mysterious and alluring sexual imagery in media daily, and this imagery is almost exclusively tied to young, fit people… So athletes are sexy by definition? Are we just a sexually curious species, voyeurs by nature? Or is it because when it comes to sex, many people feel as though they are somehow missing out on something? Sex is sold to us as this amazing, mind blowing out-of-body experience. When in reality it’s usually messy, sometimes awkward and – for women especially – often lacking an orgasmic ending.  

Well regardless of the reason, I’m elated condoms are on the ‘must have’ list. As STI’s don’t discriminate, and the world is over populated enough. Although you can’t argue the fact that those athletes would produce some genetically gifted individuals!  

“Condoms aren’t completely safe…. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus!” ~ Bob Rubin

Tweet

Semen Cookies!?

Last week a bunch of the ladies got together for Cocktails Hour. We had some drinks, appetizers and cocktails while telling…. you guessed it….. cock tales. What we didn’t have however, were semen cookies to snack on while we drank. Yes, I said semen cookies.

Recently I was sent the book Natural Harvest – A Collection of Semen Based Recipes. The author proclaims that “Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cook book!”

The ‘Gourmand World Cookbook Award’ nominated book does present a plethora of recipes and tips for cooking with semen. However, my question isn’t so much why someone would want to cook with semen (as I personally feel that drinking milk that was squeezed from the teat of another animal isn’t that much better), but rather how consistent is semen as an ingredient? As sexual scientists we’ve studied the precarious nature of semen and its changing consistency between people and within each person throughout their lifespan. Some semen is quite acidic (such as the ones that leave yellow stains on a man’s ‘hanky’ socks/towels from his ejaculate) some semen sweet. Sweet is of course a relative term, as semen usually doesn’t taste like lollypops. But my point is, if a man is living on fast food and beer as opposed to fresh fruit and veggies, his semen is going to present with vastly different flavour properties. So, can we really trust the ingredient to taste as the chef intended it to? Or will each of these recipes be dependent on the donors’ lifestyle?

A quick sidebar before you try the Natural Harvest recipes, I should point out that the sous-chef (for lack of a better term) must not have a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI), a contagious blood borne disease, acute long term exposure to poisons, heavy metals, radiation or intravenous injections. The receiver must also be careful that they are not allergic to the semen, have cancer tumours that could contact concentrated ejaculate, or are sensitive to testosterone. However, if you and your partner are both free of the above constraints and want to try some tasty new recipes, please feel free! I would love to hear your reaction to the dish you made, and whether or not you’d recommend it to others…. as I think I might sit this one out.

Tweet