What is more obscene: Sex or War?

Bombing For Peace Is Like Fucking For Virginity

Scene from The People vs Larry Flynt

Abstinence OR Nonsense?

Real “teachings” from abstinence-only sex education programs

In just over a decade, the federal government has invested more than $1.5 billion dollars in strict abstinence-only programs (which were the only sex education programs eligible for federal funding).
Statistics:
• Among youth participating in “virginity pledge” programs, researchers found that 88% broke the pledge and had sex before marriage. Furthermore, once pledgers began to have sex, they had more partners in a shorter period of time and were less likely to use contraception or condoms than were their non-pledging peers.
• Evaluations of publicly funded abstinence-only programs in at least 13 states have shown no positive changes in sexual behaviors over time.
• No abstinence-only program has yet been proven through rigorous evaluation to help youth delay sex for a significant period of time, help youth decrease their number of sex partners, or reduce STI or pregnancy rates among teens.
• The U.S. House of Representative’s Committee on Government Reform led by Rep. Henry A. Waxman released a report showing that 80% of the most popular federally funded abstinence-only education programs use curricula that distort information about the effectiveness of contraceptives, misrepresent the risks of abortion, blur religion and science, treat stereotypes about girls and boys as scientific fact, and contain basic scientific errors.

Why should we care?
- Experts estimate that about one young person in the United States is infected with HIV every hour of every day. And that nearly 15% of the 56,000 annual new cases of HIV infections in the United States occurred in youth ages 13 through 24 in 2006.
- The NCHS reports a 5% national increase between 2005 and 2007 in teenage birthrates in the U.S; from 40.5 to 42.5 births per 1,000 young women aged 15-19.

Thank you Obama!
For FY10 – removing the streams of funding for abstinence-only programs, and creating funding for programs which have been proven effective at reducing teen pregnancy, delaying sexual activity, and increasing contraceptive use.
And for starting on a path that would put an end to the teachings demonstrated in the videos above!

Got a Taste, Want some More???

Meet The Johnsons, the boisterous couple that live next to me in my thin-walled apartment building. Mrs. Johnson has vocal cords that could put opera singers to shame, and Mr. Johnson has the stamina of a professional athlete. I’m convinced that this couple rarely leaves the house in the evenings (or mornings, or during the day for that matter) as I can clearly hear all of their rambunctious, unrestrained, ear-splitting monkey loving (and yes, on one occasion I’m sure I heard an actual monkey).

On one particular evening when Mrs. Johnson was hitting a solid G6 in her vocal range, I pondered the effect the Johnsons were having on our other neighbor’s assumptions about the normality of sex within a long term relationship. Were these couples inflicted two-fold with the inevitable question of how often they ‘should be’ having sex? And what other factors lead us to want to classify what is normative in the bedroom?
Whats Normal?!
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Many women have stepped into my office with their husbands in tow, wanting nothing more than my support in justifying their anger with the fact that their significant other plays sexual solitaire. I listen attentively, commiserate with them for finding out the shocking truth, and then turn to their husband and say, “Congratulations for taking a step towards good health, I commend you in your actions. Keep up the solo work”.

Once the look of shock has firmly planted itself upon their faces, I take the lead in explaining all the health benefits to self-loving and why it is extremely important for the husband to continue in his quest for good sexual health by ‘getting in touch with himself’ on a regular basis.

Self-loving may do more for your partner than hitting the gym.
The Top 5 Reasons Why its Important for Men to Keep Up the Solo Work
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As a sex therapist, I get many books on love, sex and relationships crossing my desk. Some linger and are reread multiple times, while others are read, scoffed at and then tossed quickly from my sight. This is a list of the former: Five books that either caught my eye, educated my mind, opened my networks to invaluable dialogue, or simply stimulated my sex craving curiosity button for more than a fleeting moment. Here they are:
Top 5 Books on Sex, Love and Relationships
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On more than one occasion this summer I sat around a roaring bonfire and praised the maker of the Graham Cracker. For me, biting into a delicious smore is like an orgasm of the mouth; the melted chocolate, marshmallow and cracker combine to produce nothing less than a cascade of happiness for my taste buds. However, it wasn’t long ago when the makers of the Graham Cracker would have been appalled to learn of its current use, and my salacious “relationship” with its fine product. Why you ask? Keep reading to find out, the answer may shock you!
Test your sex savvy with the following ten shocking sexual facts

Homophobia is a Social Disease

An engineering professor is treating her husband, a loan officer, to dinner for finally giving in to her pleas to shave off the scraggly beard he grew on vacation. His favorite restaurant is a casual place where they both feel comfortable in slacks and cotton/polyester-blend golf shirts. But, as always, she wears the gold and pearl pendant he gave her the day her divorce decree was final. They’re laughing over their menus because they know he always ends up diving into a giant plate of ribs but she won’t be talked into anything more fattening than shrimp.

Quiz: How many biblical prohibitions are they violating? Well, wives are supposed to be ‘submissive’ to their husbands (I Peter 3:1). And all women are forbidden to teach men (I Timothy 2:12), wear gold or pearls (I Timothy 2:9) or dress in clothing that ‘pertains to a man’ (Deuteronomy 22:5). Shellfish and pork are definitely out (Leviticus 11:7, 10) as are usury (Deuteronomy 23:19), shaving (Leviticus 19:27) and clothes of more than one fabric (Leviticus 19:19). And since the Bible rarely recognizes divorce, they’re committing adultery, which carries the rather harsh penalty of death by stoning (Deuteronomy 22:22).

So why are they having such a good time? Probably because they wouldn’t think of worrying about rules that seem absurd, anachronistic or – at best – unrealistic. Yet this same modern-day couple could easily be among the millions of Americans who never hesitate to lean on the Bible to justify their own anti-gay attitudes. ~Deb Price

I try not to use this blog space to go on anti-religious tangents, as I myself was church bound for years, and I respect the drive that most congregations’ have to make positive changes within their communities. Therefore this post is not directed solely at the church, nor any other specific societal group, but rather, it is a small collection of quotes and images that speak to the absurdity and ignorance of anti-gay remarks, actions, and legislation. I – like millions of others – am appalled, frustrated, hurt and angry at the number of suicides within the gay community in the last few months. Therefore this post is for Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh, Asher Brown, Billy Lucas and Justin Aaberg, as well as the myriad of other gay youth who are struggling to simply gain acceptance in a society that pushes them to feel as though the sole equality on earth, is death.

The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love heterosexuals. It’s just that they need more supervision. ~Lynn Lavner

Soldiers who are not afraid of guns, bombs, capture, torture or death say they are afraid of homosexuals. Clearly we should not be used as soldiers; we should be used as weapons. ~Letter to the editor, The Advocate

The next time someone asks you, “Hey, howdja get to be a homosexual anyway?” tell them, “Homosexuals are chosen first on talent, then interview… then the swimsuit and evening gown competition pretty much gets rid of the rest of them.” ~Karen Williams

War. Rape. Murder. Poverty. Equal rights for gays. Guess which one the Southern Baptist Convention is protesting? ~Family Advocacy

When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one. ~Epitaph of Leonard P. Matlovich, 1988 (Thanks, Marlene)

Advertising

I try to make my rants on here as educational as possible by throwing in the odd statistic or society shocking must read book. But this week I’ve decided to skip most of the “did you know” part and veer more towards amusing (although I’m sure if you take the time to watch the ‘Killing Us Softly’ Video you will learn something).
Enjoy

The Good…. Messages Worth The Air Time

The Bad…. Killing Us Softly (Advertising and its effects on women)

And The Funny???…. Sex in Advertising

50th Anniversary of the Pill

Global TV and Me – Click here to watch video

VAGINA – It’s Not A Clown Car

It would be a service to mankind if the pill were available in slot machines and cigarettes were placed on prescription. ~Malcolm Potts, MD

Who’s Got the Biggest BALLS of Them All??

It wasn’t but a few weeks ago that I was faced with something far outside my comfort zone. Metaphorically speaking, my toes were hanging over the edge of the cliff and my heart was pounding. It was then that I asked myself… “Do I have the balls?”

Now, before I could take ‘the leap’ I was immediately distracted by my minds use of the comical saying. Where did it come from and why do big balls equate to something exceptional?

Before long I found my answer…. sperm competition and female promiscuity.

When you think about it, it’s obvious that our current sexual anatomy and physiology give us hints about the sexual behaviour of men and women during human evolution. For example, there is a direct relationship between testis size in a species and the degree of female promiscuity. When females are promiscuous, the competition between males of some species can continue AFTER mating – by means of sperm competition. The insertion of the penis can cause the ejection of sperm already present in the female from a previous mate, or part of the males ejaculate may coagulate into a dense plug that prevents later insemination by other males.

In species in which sperm competition is high, penises tend to be longer and testes larger so that a large number of sperm can be produced. For example, sperm competition is much more intense among chimpanzees than among gorillas, therefore the size of the testes is much greater in chimpanzees. In pigs (where mating is extremely ‘loose’) males have penises long enough to deposit semen directly into the females uterus and ejaculate can measure a pint or more in volume!

So how does the size of human testis compare?

The human testis, at 10-14 grams each, lie about halfway between those of a chimp and a gorilla (after accounting for differences in overall body size). Turns out, humans are about average-sized among primates as a whole. So what does this suggest? Female promiscuity and sperm competition have been factors in human evolution…..

And, the male with the biggest balls really does get the women.

Adam & Eve – Who Really Came First?

In the story of Adam and Eve the Bible professes that Adam was created first…
“And the Lord formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” (Genesis 2:7)
“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.” (Genesis 2:21)

When we look at animals across the planet and throughout time, we find that the male/Adam came first, female/Eve second story, just doesn’t really fit the bill. There are many known cases of female only species existing and thriving throughout civilization, however no male only species have EVER been discovered.

The common whiptail lizard (Cnemidophorus uniparens), found in arid environments in the south-western United States, is just one example of a female only species. These lizards reproduce parthenogenetically therefore no sperm or male lizard is needed. Oddly enough however, the female lizards do engage in sexual behaviour, but since neither animal has testis or a penis, there is no actual sexual penetration or transfer of sperm.

Another group of animals, referred to as bdelloid rotifers, are tubelike creatures that can be found in almost any freshwater environment today. This female only species are known to have existed for at least 40 million years, and they are not just one species but an entire class of invertebrates with at least 352 different species! That number alone accounts for an enormous amount of successful female only species on our planet.

So the next time you’re gazing at our beautiful environment consider the fact that she’s called Mother Nature for more than one reason. And when you’re at this weeks dinner party, and your husband or boyfriend thoughtfully asks you if you’d like one of his ‘ribs’, just shake your head and say, ‘No thanks honey – I’m finished – how about I give you one of mine’.

Sex in History – Alice In Wonderland

The new Alice in Wonderland movie has been creating quite the buzz since its opening. The new 3D movement has made this epic story a must see. However, the few times I’ve commented on Lewis Carroll’s past to movie/book enthusiasts, I was met with great resistance. So who was Lewis Carroll and why is his history seeping in sexual mystery?

Lewis Carroll (known by birth as Charles Dodgson) was the author of two immortal children’s books, Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. But Carroll, a renowned Oxford University mathematician, writer and photographer was – to put it mildly – interested in little girls.

The Alice books were written for Alice Liddell, the young daughter of an Oxford dean. Alice was however only one of Carroll’s many young friends, as the writer had a succession of close friendships with at least 40 girls – friendships that generally (though not always) faded when the girls reached their teen years. He wrote thousands of letters to these girls, often illustrating them with his own notable artwork or photography. This photography was a great passion for Carroll, as he photographed innumerable young girls, many of them naked. And no, Carroll never married.

To diagnose the great writer as a heterosexual pedophile is fraught with risk and is complicated by conflicting motives: the desire to read psychopathology into the lives of important historical figures versus the desire to preserve the sanctity of one of the world’s most beloved children’s authors. Many biographical writers downplay the pedophile possibility by describing Carroll as a Peter Pan-like figure who was socially inept and simply remained asexual throughout his life. Others however point to his diaries (which still exist) and the deep guilt he expressed but never made clear, mixed with the fact that some key pages of these diaries have been excised.

Even if we accept the likelihood that Carroll was a pedophile, it is still impossible to know whether he limited his activities to simple voyeurism (as his photography suggests) or went that unspeakable step further, to actual sexual contact with children. Unless the mystery diary pages resurface, Carroll’s sexuality is likely to remain an enigma. But perhaps some things are better left as such. After all, eating magic mushrooms, chasing white rabbits and running from the Queen of hearts, poses enough symbolic questions on their own.