The Breakdown
Size by Colour Range: From the largest, which is dark green 16.10-17.93cm (6.3-7.1 inches) to the smallest, which is dark red 9.66-11.67cm (3.8-4.6 inches).

The Truth
According to a study done in 1996 by urologists at San Francisco General Hospital – There is no correlation between the length of a man’s penis when flaccid and the same penis when erect.
The average penis is between 4-6 inches in length, and according to a common medical rule of thumb, anything within two standard deviations of the mean is “normal”. In vaginal penetration, the dimensions of the penis are almost irrelevant, because the elasticity of the vaginal wall makes it a “one-size-fits-all” organ and in anal and oral penetration, a small penis may actually be an advantage.

In general, the significance of penis size lies only in the mind…..

Every teacher, child, teen, parent, or soon to be parent, needs to watch this educational film!!!
More info on this amazing program from TLC entitled “Lets Talk About Sex” can be found at www.letstalkaboutsexthefilm.com

The bonobo, also known as Pan paniscus, is an endangered species of ape that – along with the chimpanzee – share approximately 98.5% of our DNA. However unlike chimpanzees (who are known to be quite a violent species) the bonobos motto is unequivocally; “Make love, not war”.

While reproduction is the original function of sexual behaviour, humans and bonobos have found other uses for sex that have no direct connection with producing young. Within the bonobo culture, females are sexually responsive for most of their ovarian cycle (advertising their yearning for sex through the swelling and displaying of their genitals), but they are also receptive when they are not cycling at all. Meaning, for the majority of the time a female is willing, there is no chance that sex will result in pregnancy. Females and males also frequently engage in homosexual encounters. When two females have sex for example, they embrace face to face while rubbing their swollen genitals together until both females reach orgasm. This behaviour, known as genito-genital rubbing, is unique to female-female encounters.

Now although the bonobos were never given a pop-up version of the Kama Sutra to flip through and consult, they are also doing quite well in diversifying their sexual positions portfolio. Front to front copulation is rare among mammals, as is the male-male homosexual position that involves rubbing penises while hanging from a tree branch, however the bonobos have mastered these with ease.

Now I’m sure there are a few readers out there that are still unimpressed with the bonobos sexual prowess, comparing our behaviours with them, using this as just another example of why humans trump all other species (although come on, I’d like to see any two men try and rub ‘joysticks’ together while hanging from a tree branch, seriously though…… I would like to see that). But I digress.

Bonobos top humans on the sexual front because….

Aside from physical pleasure, bonobos also use sex for the cementing of social relationships and formation of alliances, AND for the prevention and resolution of conflicts! For example, if two bonobos are faced with a conflict in food allocation, they will engage in sex (regardless of the gender) and then divide the food peacefully!
This means that on any given day, bonobos could spend a vast majority of their time simply ‘making love’. No war, an equal sharing of food and resources, and frequent sex that can result in mutual orgasms……

Does life get any better?

So next time you ask yourself what animal you’d like to be reincarnated as, consider the bonobo.
I know John Lennon would.

In just over a decade, the federal government has invested more than $1.5 billion dollars in strict abstinence-only programs (which were the only sex education programs eligible for federal funding).
Statistics:
• Among youth participating in “virginity pledge” programs, researchers found that 88% broke the pledge and had sex before marriage. Furthermore, once pledgers began to have sex, they had more partners in a shorter period of time and were less likely to use contraception or condoms than were their non-pledging peers.
• Evaluations of publicly funded abstinence-only programs in at least 13 states have shown no positive changes in sexual behaviors over time.
• No abstinence-only program has yet been proven through rigorous evaluation to help youth delay sex for a significant period of time, help youth decrease their number of sex partners, or reduce STI or pregnancy rates among teens.
• The U.S. House of Representative’s Committee on Government Reform led by Rep. Henry A. Waxman released a report showing that 80% of the most popular federally funded abstinence-only education programs use curricula that distort information about the effectiveness of contraceptives, misrepresent the risks of abortion, blur religion and science, treat stereotypes about girls and boys as scientific fact, and contain basic scientific errors.

Why should we care?
- Experts estimate that about one young person in the United States is infected with HIV every hour of every day. And that nearly 15% of the 56,000 annual new cases of HIV infections in the United States occurred in youth ages 13 through 24 in 2006.
- The NCHS reports a 5% national increase between 2005 and 2007 in teenage birthrates in the U.S; from 40.5 to 42.5 births per 1,000 young women aged 15-19.

Thank you Obama!
For FY10 – removing the streams of funding for abstinence-only programs, and creating funding for programs which have been proven effective at reducing teen pregnancy, delaying sexual activity, and increasing contraceptive use.
And for starting on a path that would put an end to the teachings demonstrated in the videos above!

Last seen humping his best friends wife. Answers to Steven

My thoughts?

Sometimes coming clean can bring two people closer together, as their faults are brought forth with honesty, and both know where the other truly stands. However sometimes this honesty can be so earth shattering that it blows the boundaries of what a person conceives to be possible in their mind…. wide open, and leaves nothing but the sound of a heart literally ripping in two.

So before I head down this ‘honesty at all costs’ path, I stop and ponder…. why do some individuals feel the need for uncompromised confession? Are they religious? Do they adhere to an all honesty policy in all walks and areas of their life? Would they confess if they cheated simply because the guilt of their actions would overcome them so much that they would need to come clean in order to make themselves feel better? (And therefore knowing this about themselves, and their inability to cheat, they have ‘an easy in’ to take this moral high road) And if this is the case, could this honesty not be construed as selfish, at its most simplistic overanalysed core?

Well apparently I’m not the only one who has pondered the inner mind workings of infidelity, as new research has been conducted that claims that the unfaithful might have a slightly different variant in their genes.

A study done out of the State University in New York found that those with a certain variant of the DRD4 gene (which affects levels of the brain chemical dopamine), were more likely to have a history of uncommitted sex, including one-night stands and acts of infidelity. The motivation for these individuals seems to stem from a system of pleasure and reward, which is where the release of dopamine takes center stage.

When infidelity is concerned, the risks are high, but the reward insures a dopamine rush, and usually, a sexual denouement. The affair for these individuals may be chemically akin to one that a gambler feels when their luck has changed, or an alcoholic may feel when savouring a drink.

Now of course we can’t blame biology for all our wrongdoings, as that would completely stifle the long standing academic nature/nurture debate….. and who doesn’t love jumping into that one on a Friday night?…… No?…… It’s just me?…… I need to get out more don’t I?

Anyways, my point…. we can’t blame biology for everything, and we can’t simply give these genetic miscreants a get-out-of-jail-free card so they may prance around town and do who, or what they please. As I agree that we all need to take responsibility for our actions, and try our best to become a better person, treating others – especially our partners – the way that we wish to be treated.

So do I think that people should cheat and then keep it to themselves? No that’s not necessarily what I’m saying. If you are cheating on someone (especially if its a continuous event) the best road is probably to end the relationship….. but the question I point to is, do you want to do so in a blaze of honesty?

Simply put, sometimes we should take a step back from the moral high road and question not only the cheaters motives, but the honesty Nazi’s motives as well. As the sooner we can learn that no path is the right one to take 100% of the time – as the world isn’t black and white, but many shades of grey – the sooner we will become more empathetic, and gain a higher understanding for the complexity that is human nature.

(Ya I’m playing devils advocate….. roll with it for a bit….. see how it feels)

Middle Sex Series
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHp3sHkE1bc
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoYo9Syc8g4
Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaPsiGutGPQ
Part 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEjgUt9u39U
Part 6: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Xq8fFtAzR8
Part 7: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmKAnpF0zS4
Part 8: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1o_hXcHWAI
Part 9: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LC5UTozpa4
Part 10: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qb_sPmd6DnE

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” ~Jalal ad-Din Rumi

On one particular evening when Mrs. Johnson was hitting a solid G6 in her vocal range, I pondered the effect the Johnsons were having on our other neighbor’s assumptions about the normality of sex within a long term relationship. Were these couples inflicted two-fold with the inevitable question of how often they ‘should be’ having sex? And what other factors lead us to want to classify what is normative in the bedroom?
Whats Normal?!
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Many women have stepped into my office with their husbands in tow, wanting nothing more than my support in justifying their anger with the fact that their significant other plays sexual solitaire. I listen attentively, commiserate with them for finding out the shocking truth, and then turn to their husband and say, “Congratulations for taking a step towards good health, I commend you in your actions. Keep up the solo work”.

Once the look of shock has firmly planted itself upon their faces, I take the lead in explaining all the health benefits to self-loving and why it is extremely important for the husband to continue in his quest for good sexual health by ‘getting in touch with himself’ on a regular basis.

Self-loving may do more for your partner than hitting the gym.
The Top 5 Reasons Why its Important for Men to Keep Up the Solo Work
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As a sex therapist, I get many books on love, sex and relationships crossing my desk. Some linger and are reread multiple times, while others are read, scoffed at and then tossed quickly from my sight. This is a list of the former: Five books that either caught my eye, educated my mind, opened my networks to invaluable dialogue, or simply stimulated my sex craving curiosity button for more than a fleeting moment. Here they are:
Top 5 Books on Sex, Love and Relationships
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On more than one occasion this summer I sat around a roaring bonfire and praised the maker of the Graham Cracker. For me, biting into a delicious smore is like an orgasm of the mouth; the melted chocolate, marshmallow and cracker combine to produce nothing less than a cascade of happiness for my taste buds. However, it wasn’t long ago when the makers of the Graham Cracker would have been appalled to learn of its current use, and my salacious “relationship” with its fine product. Why you ask? Keep reading to find out, the answer may shock you!
Test your sex savvy with the following ten shocking sexual facts

Masturbation - Playing with Yourself

In today’s scientifically based society one would hope that these negative views on masturbation would fade, given the fact that we have proven that masturbation leading to orgasm has numerous health benefits (sleep aid, eases depression, stress reliever, makes you look younger, helps alleviate sinus pressure, elevates mood, pain reliever etc and the list goes on and on).

But where does masturbation fit in the minds of this generation?

Well it turns out that the frequency with which people masturbate is strongly influenced by their sex, age, ethnicity, religion, educational level, marital status and sexual orientation. So if science holds true, I could theoretically predict how often YOU masturbated – and your views on it – by simply asking you a few simple questions.

Turns out, if you are a 25-35 year old white (or Hispanic) male, whose never been married, has a master’s degree or higher and categorizes themselves as “other” in the religious realm; then you’ve spent a lot of time playing sexual solitaire. I’m sure it’s no surprise that men on average report masturbating more often than women, but it may be a surprise to learn that among women, homosexual behaviour or identity is associated with a higher frequency of masturbation, surpassing some males of heterosexual standing – depending on the factors listed above.

Despite “normative” factors, what does evolutionary psychologists says about “couch hockey for one” – a behaviour that seems disadvantageous for the point of view of reproductive success?

Well it’s possible that male masturbation is an adaptive behaviour because it gets rid of “aged” sperm that have been stored for some time and are no longer of optimal quality for fertilization. And masturbation in both sexes may simply be a by-product of selection for other behavioural traits that increase our reproductive success, like a high sex drive.

So with May being National Masturbation month, I suggest we celebrate! Lets drop our negative labels and do what biology has equipped us to do! After all, if God didn’t want you to masturbate he would have made your arms shorter.

It wasn’t but a few weeks ago that I was faced with something far outside my comfort zone. Metaphorically speaking, my toes were hanging over the edge of the cliff and my heart was pounding. It was then that I asked myself… “Do I have the balls?”

Now, before I could take ‘the leap’ I was immediately distracted by my minds use of the comical saying. Where did it come from and why do big balls equate to something exceptional?

Before long I found my answer…. sperm competition and female promiscuity.

When you think about it, it’s obvious that our current sexual anatomy and physiology give us hints about the sexual behaviour of men and women during human evolution. For example, there is a direct relationship between testis size in a species and the degree of female promiscuity. When females are promiscuous, the competition between males of some species can continue AFTER mating – by means of sperm competition. The insertion of the penis can cause the ejection of sperm already present in the female from a previous mate, or part of the males ejaculate may coagulate into a dense plug that prevents later insemination by other males.

In species in which sperm competition is high, penises tend to be longer and testes larger so that a large number of sperm can be produced. For example, sperm competition is much more intense among chimpanzees than among gorillas, therefore the size of the testes is much greater in chimpanzees. In pigs (where mating is extremely ‘loose’) males have penises long enough to deposit semen directly into the females uterus and ejaculate can measure a pint or more in volume!

So how does the size of human testis compare?

The human testis, at 10-14 grams each, lie about halfway between those of a chimp and a gorilla (after accounting for differences in overall body size). Turns out, humans are about average-sized among primates as a whole. So what does this suggest? Female promiscuity and sperm competition have been factors in human evolution…..

And, the male with the biggest balls really does get the women.

When we look at animals across the planet and throughout time, we find that the male/Adam came first, female/Eve second story, just doesn’t really fit the bill. There are many known cases of female only species existing and thriving throughout civilization, however no male only species have EVER been discovered.

The common whiptail lizard (Cnemidophorus uniparens), found in arid environments in the south-western United States, is just one example of a female only species. These lizards reproduce parthenogenetically therefore no sperm or male lizard is needed. Oddly enough however, the female lizards do engage in sexual behaviour, but since neither animal has testis or a penis, there is no actual sexual penetration or transfer of sperm.

Another group of animals, referred to as bdelloid rotifers, are tubelike creatures that can be found in almost any freshwater environment today. This female only species are known to have existed for at least 40 million years, and they are not just one species but an entire class of invertebrates with at least 352 different species! That number alone accounts for an enormous amount of successful female only species on our planet.

So the next time you’re gazing at our beautiful environment consider the fact that she’s called Mother Nature for more than one reason. And when you’re at this weeks dinner party, and your husband or boyfriend thoughtfully asks you if you’d like one of his ‘ribs’, just shake your head and say, ‘No thanks honey – I’m finished – how about I give you one of mine’.

Turns out scientists are kinkier than we think. By simply stimulating the sacral nerve root (the headquarters for orgasms, along the spinal nerve) with an electrode, one can trigger an orgasm, even in the legally dead (this of course would only work on beating heart cadavers that are brain dead but whose bodies are kept ‘alive’ with respirators).

So, if teeth brushing, brow stroking, dead people can have one, what are 16% of women (the percentage of the female population reporting to have never reached orgasm) doing wrong? This is obviously a very complicated question with a multitude of possible answers. So instead or dragging you through pages of explanations, I’ll try and give the coles notes version of why some women have trouble reaching orgasm.

1.) Fear of failure and overly concerned with pleasuring ones partner
If you are constantly doubting your ability to please your mate then chances are you’re in a negative mind frame that is clouding your sexual satisfaction. If you’re focused too much on what you’re doing, and not how you’re feeling, then no amount of stimulation from your partner is going to bring about an orgasm.
2.) Not doing something that feels good to you
Are you being touched effectively? If your partner isn’t sure where your clitoris is or how to rub it just right, then it’s your responsibility to show them. Don’t fake it when it doesn’t feel good, as that causes repetition of ineffective touch and in the end, you both loose. You’re not receiving orgasms, and you’re robbing your partner of the knowledge and satisfaction of knowing what makes you climax.
3.) Internal dialogue
Many women find it hard to be ‘in the moment’ during sex. They are constantly thinking of other things, such as: “Do I look fat?”, “Do I smell?”, “Does he really love me?” etc. This internal dialogue distracts us from focusing on the moment and the actual touch of our partner. It’s virtually impossible to have an orgasm while thinking about how flat your stomach looks or when the last time you cleaned your sheets was.
4.) Failure to communicate openly and without guilt to ones partner
If sex is difficult for you to talk about, then you’re not alone. If you’re too ashamed to admit that you like to be bitten or that you want to incorporate your vibrator into your love life, then chances are you not going to reach your orgasmic potential. So, be as open and honest as possible, for only the truth will set your orgasms free.
5.) Medical reasons
Diabetes, urinary tract infections, overactive bladder, yeast infections, clitoral adhesion’s, depression (and anti-depressants), obesity, fatigue, constipation, STI’s, menopause, birth control and other medications are just a FEW things that can have detrimental effects on a woman’s orgasm. If you feel as though the first four issues mentioned are not a problem for you, then perhaps there is a medical reason why you’re having difficulty reaching orgasm. The best thing to do is contact your doctor and discuss your options with him/her.

It’s also important to remember that only 30% of women experience an orgasm through penetration alone. Therefore focusing all your attention on achieving an orgasm during intercourse can have discouraging results. Don’t rely strictly on penile penetration to bring you to climax, expand the time you spend on foreplay, don’t be afraid to stimulate your clitoris during sex and always be ‘in the moment’. As your mind is your largest sex organ, therefore if it’s not present, your body will have checked out long ago.

Was that written by a man or a woman? Most would guess a man, given the reference to what seems like an ejaculation. This however was written by a woman, in reference to her intense female ejaculations.

One might think that ejaculation would be a purely male prerogative, but in fact about 40% of women also experience a discharge of fluid at sexual climax.

As with male ejaculation, the fluid is discharged from the urethra. However in females, there seems to be two kinds of ejaculate! One kind involves a discharge of only a small amount of an opalescent fluid (only a few drops to a teaspoon), and it’s usually done so without great force. In the other kind of ejaculation, a large quantity of clear fluid is discharged (can be 100ml or more), and sometimes with sufficient force to project the fluid many feet away from the woman’s body. Some women have reported experiencing both kinds of ejaculation at different times, while laboratory studies suggest that they can also occur simultaneously in the same woman!

And just when we thought females couldn’t get any more complicated. Whether it’s orgasms or ejaculations…. if men can do it once, we’re doing it twice!

(What is this fluid you ask? Well if you really want to know I’ll explain, but sometimes ignorance is bliss. In males, less than 1% of ejaculate is actually sperm, the rest is predominately made up of citric acid, enzymes, fibrinogen and fructose. In women the low volume ejaculate comes from the paraurethral gland (homologous to the male prostate) and is mostly prostatic acid phosphatase. The high volume ejaculate is urine from the bladder, however it is very diluted suggesting that the kidneys produced diluted urine during sexual arousal)