May Is National Masturbation Month

The saying “Masturbation is like procrastination, it seems like a good idea at the time but in the end you’re really only fucking yourself”, has in my generation, been somewhat accepted as truth. Masturbation’s bad reputation has been around since before Victorian times and has earned much of its sinful stamp from the Roman Catholic Church. Others that have managed to push past the sinful connotations however, are often times still held up on the belief that it is an activity practiced only by people who cannot get access to “real” sex (hence the derogatory term “jerk” whose meaning has been influenced by the phrase “jerking off” slang for male masturbation, and its British equivalent “wanker” which translates loosely into “loser”).

In today’s scientifically based society one would hope that these negative views on masturbation would fade, given the fact that we have proven that masturbation leading to orgasm has numerous health benefits (sleep aid, eases depression, stress reliever, makes you look younger, helps alleviate sinus pressure, elevates mood, pain reliever etc and the list goes on and on).

But what is the reality of masturbation today?

Well it turns out that the frequency with which people masturbate is strongly influenced by their sex, age, ethnicity, religion, educational level, marital status and sexual orientation. So if science holds true, I could theoretically predict who often YOU masturbated by asking you a few simple questions.

Turns out, if you are a 25-35 year old white (or Hispanic) male, whose never been married, has a master’s degree or higher and categorizes themselves as “other” in the religious realm; then you’ve spent a lot of time playing sexual solitaire. I’m sure it’s no surprise that men on average report masturbating more often than women, but it may be a surprise to learn that among women, homosexual behaviour or identity is associated with a high frequency of masturbation, surpassing some males of heterosexual standing – depending on the factors listed above.

Despite “normative” factors, what does evolutionary psychologists says about “couch hockey for one” – a behaviour that seems disadvantageous for the point of view of reproductive success?

Well it’s possible that male masturbation is an adaptive behaviour because it gets rid of “aged” sperm that have been stored for some time and are no longer of optimal quality for fertilization. And masturbation in both sexes may simply be a by-product of selection for other behavioural traits that increase our reproductive success, like a high sex drive.

So with May being National Masturbation month, I suggest we celebrate! Lets drop our negative labels and do what biology has equipped us to do! After all, if God didn’t want you to masturbate he would have made your arms shorter.

Who’s Got the Biggest BALLS of Them All??

It wasn’t but a few weeks ago that I was faced with something far outside my comfort zone. Metaphorically speaking, my toes were hanging over the edge of the cliff and my heart was pounding. It was then that I asked myself… “Do I have the balls?”

Now, before I could take ‘the leap’ I was immediately distracted by my minds use of the comical saying. Where did it come from and why do big balls equate to something exceptional?

Before long I found my answer…. sperm competition and female promiscuity.

When you think about it, it’s obvious that our current sexual anatomy and physiology give us hints about the sexual behaviour of men and women during human evolution. For example, there is a direct relationship between testis size in a species and the degree of female promiscuity. When females are promiscuous, the competition between males of some species can continue AFTER mating – by means of sperm competition. The insertion of the penis can cause the ejection of sperm already present in the female from a previous mate, or part of the males ejaculate may coagulate into a dense plug that prevents later insemination by other males.

In species in which sperm competition is high, penises tend to be longer and testes larger so that a large number of sperm can be produced. For example, sperm competition is much more intense among chimpanzees than among gorillas, therefore the size of the testes is much greater in chimpanzees. In pigs (where mating is extremely ‘loose’) males have penises long enough to deposit semen directly into the females uterus and ejaculate can measure a pint or more in volume!

So how does the size of the humans testes compare?

The human testes, at 10-14 grams per testis, lie about halfway between those of a chimp and a gorilla (after accounting for differences in overall body size). Turns out, humans are about average-sized among primates as a whole. So what does this suggest? Female promiscuity and sperm competition have been factors in human evolution…..

And, the male with the biggest balls really does get the women.

Adam & Eve – Who Really Came First?

In the story of Adam and Eve the Bible professes that Adam was created first…
“And the Lord formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” (Genesis 2:7)
“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.” (Genesis 2:21)

When we look at animals across the planet and throughout time, we find that the male/Adam came first, female/Eve second story, just doesn’t really fit the bill. There are many known cases of female only species existing and thriving throughout civilization, however no male only species have EVER been discovered.

The common whiptail lizard (Cnemidophorus uniparens), found in arid environments in the south-western United States, is just one example of a female only species. These lizards reproduce parthenogenetically therefore no sperm or male lizard is needed. Oddly enough however, the female lizards do engage in sexual behaviour, but since neither animal has testis or a penis, there is no actual sexual penetration or transfer of sperm.

Another group of animals, referred to as bdelloid rotifers, are tubelike creatures that can be found in almost any freshwater environment today. This female only species are known to have existed for at least 40 million years, and they are not just one species but an entire class of invertebrates with at least 352 different species! That number alone accounts for an enormous amount of successful female only species on our planet.

So the next time you’re gazing at our beautiful environment consider the fact that she’s called Mother Nature for more than one reason. And when you’re at this weeks dinner party, and your husband or boyfriend thoughtfully asks you if you’d like one of his ‘ribs’, just shake your head and say, ‘No thanks honey – I’m finished – how about I give you one of mine’.

You CAN Have an Orgasm When You’re Dead!

Many people achieve a quivering orgasmic delight through genital stimulation alone, while others are blessed with their presence when their hair is stroked or their teeth are brushed. Yes, I said teeth not teat. There are known cases of women who experience orgasms whenever they brush their teeth (resulting in impeccable oral hygiene I would imagine), and others who get that unmistakeable tingling only when their eyebrows are rubbed. There are even the lucky few that could have an orgasm when they’re dead.

Turns out scientists are kinkier than we think. By simply stimulating the sacral nerve root (the headquarters for orgasms, along the spinal nerve) with an electrode, one can trigger an orgasm, even in the legally dead (this of course would only work on beating heart cadavers that are brain dead but whose bodies are kept ‘alive’ with respirators).

So, if teeth brushing, brow stroking, dead people can have one, what are 16% of women (the percentage of the female population reporting to have never reached orgasm) doing wrong? This is obviously a very complicated question with a multitude of possible answers. So instead or dragging you through pages of explanations, I’ll try and give the coles notes version of why some women have trouble reaching orgasm.

1.) Fear of failure and overly concerned with pleasuring ones partner
If you are constantly doubting your ability to please your mate then chances are you’re in a negative mind frame that is clouding your sexual satisfaction. If you’re focused too much on what you’re doing, and not how you’re feeling, then no amount of stimulation from your partner is going to bring about an orgasm.
2.) Not doing something that feels good to you
Are you being touched effectively? If your partner isn’t sure where your clitoris is or how to rub it just right, then it’s your responsibility to show them. Don’t fake it when it doesn’t feel good, as that causes repetition of ineffective touch and in the end, you both loose. You’re not receiving orgasms, and you’re robbing your partner of the knowledge and satisfaction of knowing what makes you climax.
3.) Internal dialogue
Many women find it hard to be ‘in the moment’ during sex. They are constantly thinking of other things, such as: “Do I look fat?”, “Do I smell?”, “Does he really love me?” etc. This internal dialogue distracts us from focusing on the moment and the actual touch of our partner. It’s virtually impossible to have an orgasm while thinking about how flat your stomach looks or when the last time you cleaned your sheets was.
4.) Failure to communicate openly and without guilt to ones partner
If sex is difficult for you to talk about, then you’re not alone. If you’re too ashamed to admit that you like to be bitten or that you want to incorporate your vibrator into your love life, then chances are you not going to reach your orgasmic potential. So, be as open and honest as possible, for only the truth will set your orgasms free.
5.) Medical reasons
Diabetes, urinary tract infections, overactive bladder, yeast infections, clitoral adhesion’s, depression (and anti-depressants), obesity, fatigue, constipation, STI’s, menopause, birth control and other medications are just a FEW things that can have detrimental effects on a woman’s orgasm. If you feel as though the first four issues mentioned are not a problem for you, then perhaps there is a medical reason why you’re having difficulty reaching orgasm. The best thing to do is contact your doctor and discuss your options with him/her.

It’s also important to remember that only 30% of women experience an orgasm through penetration alone. Therefore focusing all your attention on achieving an orgasm during intercourse can have discouraging results. Don’t rely strictly on penile penetration to bring you to climax, expand the time you spend on foreplay, don’t be afraid to stimulate your clitoris during sex and always be ‘in the moment’. As your mind is your largest sex organ, therefore if it’s not present, your body will have checked out long ago.

Female Ejaculation

Orgasm description: “Intense excitement of the body with muscular tension, rigid straightening of the entire body. Tingling and buzzing sensations grow suddenly, then palpitating rhythm and an intense explosion with a shooting liquid of incredible release! Relief and relaxation follow”

Was that written by a man or a woman? Most would guess a man, given the reference to what seems like an ejaculation. This however was written by a woman, in reference to her intense female ejaculations.

One might think that ejaculation would be a purely male prerogative, but in fact about 40% of women also experience a discharge of fluid at sexual climax.

As with male ejaculation, the fluid is discharged from the urethra. However in females, there seems to be two kinds of ejaculate! One kind involves a discharge of only a small amount of an opalescent fluid (only a few drops to a teaspoon), and it’s usually done so without great force. In the other kind of ejaculation, a large quantity of clear fluid is discharged (can be 100ml or more), and sometimes with sufficient force to project the fluid many feet away from the woman’s body. Some women have reported experiencing both kinds of ejaculation at different times, while laboratory studies suggest that they can also occur simultaneously in the same woman!

And just when we thought females couldn’t get any more complicated. Whether it’s orgasms or ejaculations…. if men can do it once, we’re doing it twice!

(What is this fluid you ask? Well if you really want to know I’ll explain, but sometimes ignorance is bliss. In males, less than 1% of ejaculate is actually sperm, the rest is predominately made up of citric acid, enzymes, fibrinogen and fructose. In women the low volume ejaculate comes from the paraurethral gland (homologous to the male prostate) and is mostly prostatic acid phosphatase. The high volume ejaculate is urine from the bladder, however it is very diluted suggesting that the kidneys produced diluted urine during sexual arousal)