The K-Y Brand and myself are teaming up to answer your sex and relationship questions. This new application on facebook is completely anonymous and 100% FREE! I will be recording personal video responses to your questions, so check-er out and ask away!

Link to the New Free K-Y Brand Question and Answer Facebook Page<

The bonobo, also known as Pan paniscus, is an endangered species of ape that – along with the chimpanzee – share approximately 98.5% of our DNA. However unlike chimpanzees (who are known to be quite a violent species) the bonobos motto is unequivocally; “Make love, not war”.

While reproduction is the original function of sexual behaviour, humans and bonobos have found other uses for sex that have no direct connection with producing young. Within the bonobo culture, females are sexually responsive for most of their ovarian cycle (advertising their yearning for sex through the swelling and displaying of their genitals), but they are also receptive when they are not cycling at all. Meaning, for the majority of the time a female is willing, there is no chance that sex will result in pregnancy. Females and males also frequently engage in homosexual encounters. When two females have sex for example, they embrace face to face while rubbing their swollen genitals together until both females reach orgasm. This behaviour, known as genito-genital rubbing, is unique to female-female encounters.

Now although the bonobos were never given a pop-up version of the Kama Sutra to flip through and consult, they are also doing quite well in diversifying their sexual positions portfolio. Front to front copulation is rare among mammals, as is the male-male homosexual position that involves rubbing penises while hanging from a tree branch, however the bonobos have mastered these with ease.

Now I’m sure there are a few readers out there that are still unimpressed with the bonobos sexual prowess, comparing our behaviours with them, using this as just another example of why humans trump all other species (although come on, I’d like to see any two men try and rub ‘joysticks’ together while hanging from a tree branch, seriously though…… I would like to see that). But I digress.

Bonobos top humans on the sexual front because….

Aside from physical pleasure, bonobos also use sex for the cementing of social relationships and formation of alliances, AND for the prevention and resolution of conflicts! For example, if two bonobos are faced with a conflict in food allocation, they will engage in sex (regardless of the gender) and then divide the food peacefully!
This means that on any given day, bonobos could spend a vast majority of their time simply ‘making love’. No war, an equal sharing of food and resources, and frequent sex that can result in mutual orgasms……

Does life get any better?

So next time you ask yourself what animal you’d like to be reincarnated as, consider the bonobo.
I know John Lennon would.

Last seen humping his best friends wife. Answers to Steven

My thoughts?

Sometimes coming clean can bring two people closer together, as their faults are brought forth with honesty, and both know where the other truly stands. However sometimes this honesty can be so earth shattering that it blows the boundaries of what a person conceives to be possible in their mind…. wide open, and leaves nothing but the sound of a heart literally ripping in two.

So before I head down this ‘honesty at all costs’ path, I stop and ponder…. why do some individuals feel the need for uncompromised confession? Are they religious? Do they adhere to an all honesty policy in all walks and areas of their life? Would they confess if they cheated simply because the guilt of their actions would overcome them so much that they would need to come clean in order to make themselves feel better? (And therefore knowing this about themselves, and their inability to cheat, they have ‘an easy in’ to take this moral high road) And if this is the case, could this honesty not be construed as selfish, at its most simplistic overanalysed core?

Well apparently I’m not the only one who has pondered the inner mind workings of infidelity, as new research has been conducted that claims that the unfaithful might have a slightly different variant in their genes.

A study done out of the State University in New York found that those with a certain variant of the DRD4 gene (which affects levels of the brain chemical dopamine), were more likely to have a history of uncommitted sex, including one-night stands and acts of infidelity. The motivation for these individuals seems to stem from a system of pleasure and reward, which is where the release of dopamine takes center stage.

When infidelity is concerned, the risks are high, but the reward insures a dopamine rush, and usually, a sexual denouement. The affair for these individuals may be chemically akin to one that a gambler feels when their luck has changed, or an alcoholic may feel when savouring a drink.

Now of course we can’t blame biology for all our wrongdoings, as that would completely stifle the long standing academic nature/nurture debate….. and who doesn’t love jumping into that one on a Friday night?…… No?…… It’s just me?…… I need to get out more don’t I?

Anyways, my point…. we can’t blame biology for everything, and we can’t simply give these genetic miscreants a get-out-of-jail-free card so they may prance around town and do who, or what they please. As I agree that we all need to take responsibility for our actions, and try our best to become a better person, treating others – especially our partners – the way that we wish to be treated.

So do I think that people should cheat and then keep it to themselves? No that’s not necessarily what I’m saying. If you are cheating on someone (especially if its a continuous event) the best road is probably to end the relationship….. but the question I point to is, do you want to do so in a blaze of honesty?

Simply put, sometimes we should take a step back from the moral high road and question not only the cheaters motives, but the honesty Nazi’s motives as well. As the sooner we can learn that no path is the right one to take 100% of the time – as the world isn’t black and white, but many shades of grey – the sooner we will become more empathetic, and gain a higher understanding for the complexity that is human nature.

(Ya I’m playing devils advocate….. roll with it for a bit….. see how it feels)

On one particular evening when Mrs. Johnson was hitting a solid G6 in her vocal range, I pondered the effect the Johnsons were having on our other neighbor’s assumptions about the normality of sex within a long term relationship. Were these couples inflicted two-fold with the inevitable question of how often they ‘should be’ having sex? And what other factors lead us to want to classify what is normative in the bedroom?
Whats Normal?!
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Many women have stepped into my office with their husbands in tow, wanting nothing more than my support in justifying their anger with the fact that their significant other plays sexual solitaire. I listen attentively, commiserate with them for finding out the shocking truth, and then turn to their husband and say, “Congratulations for taking a step towards good health, I commend you in your actions. Keep up the solo work”.

Once the look of shock has firmly planted itself upon their faces, I take the lead in explaining all the health benefits to self-loving and why it is extremely important for the husband to continue in his quest for good sexual health by ‘getting in touch with himself’ on a regular basis.

Self-loving may do more for your partner than hitting the gym.
The Top 5 Reasons Why its Important for Men to Keep Up the Solo Work
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As a sex therapist, I get many books on love, sex and relationships crossing my desk. Some linger and are reread multiple times, while others are read, scoffed at and then tossed quickly from my sight. This is a list of the former: Five books that either caught my eye, educated my mind, opened my networks to invaluable dialogue, or simply stimulated my sex craving curiosity button for more than a fleeting moment. Here they are:
Top 5 Books on Sex, Love and Relationships
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On more than one occasion this summer I sat around a roaring bonfire and praised the maker of the Graham Cracker. For me, biting into a delicious smore is like an orgasm of the mouth; the melted chocolate, marshmallow and cracker combine to produce nothing less than a cascade of happiness for my taste buds. However, it wasn’t long ago when the makers of the Graham Cracker would have been appalled to learn of its current use, and my salacious “relationship” with its fine product. Why you ask? Keep reading to find out, the answer may shock you!
Test your sex savvy with the following ten shocking sexual facts

Cheers!

Dr. Teesha Morgan

P.S Yes to all these questions: “Is it ok to syndicate your blog/content?”, “Can I use your information if I link back to your site?”, “Can I quote you in an article?”, “Would it be ok to use your feed?”, “Can I use your RSS?” and “Can I post a link to your site from mine?”

An engineering professor is treating her husband, a loan officer, to dinner for finally giving in to her pleas to shave off the scraggly beard he grew on vacation. His favorite restaurant is a casual place where they both feel comfortable in slacks and cotton/polyester-blend golf shirts. But, as always, she wears the gold and pearl pendant he gave her the day her divorce decree was final. They’re laughing over their menus because they know he always ends up diving into a giant plate of ribs but she won’t be talked into anything more fattening than shrimp.

Quiz: How many biblical prohibitions are they violating? Well, wives are supposed to be ‘submissive’ to their husbands (I Peter 3:1). And all women are forbidden to teach men (I Timothy 2:12), wear gold or pearls (I Timothy 2:9) or dress in clothing that ‘pertains to a man’ (Deuteronomy 22:5). Shellfish and pork are definitely out (Leviticus 11:7, 10) as are usury (Deuteronomy 23:19), shaving (Leviticus 19:27) and clothes of more than one fabric (Leviticus 19:19). And since the Bible rarely recognizes divorce, they’re committing adultery, which carries the rather harsh penalty of death by stoning (Deuteronomy 22:22).

So why are they having such a good time? Probably because they wouldn’t think of worrying about rules that seem absurd, anachronistic or – at best – unrealistic. Yet this same modern-day couple could easily be among the millions of Americans who never hesitate to lean on the Bible to justify their own anti-gay attitudes. ~Deb Price

I try not to use this blog space to go on anti-religious tangents, as I myself was church bound for years, and I respect the drive that most congregations’ have to make positive changes within their communities. Therefore this post is not directed solely at the church, nor any other specific societal group, but rather, it is a small collection of quotes and images that speak to the absurdity and ignorance of anti-gay remarks, actions, and legislation. I – like millions of others – am appalled, frustrated, hurt and angry at the number of suicides within the gay community in the last few months. Therefore this post is for Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh, Asher Brown, Billy Lucas and Justin Aaberg, as well as the myriad of other gay youth who are struggling to simply gain acceptance in a society that pushes them to feel as though the sole equality on earth, is death.

The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love heterosexuals. It’s just that they need more supervision. ~Lynn Lavner

Soldiers who are not afraid of guns, bombs, capture, torture or death say they are afraid of homosexuals. Clearly we should not be used as soldiers; we should be used as weapons. ~Letter to the editor, The Advocate

The next time someone asks you, “Hey, howdja get to be a homosexual anyway?” tell them, “Homosexuals are chosen first on talent, then interview… then the swimsuit and evening gown competition pretty much gets rid of the rest of them.” ~Karen Williams

War. Rape. Murder. Poverty. Equal rights for gays. Guess which one the Southern Baptist Convention is protesting? ~Family Advocacy

When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one. ~Epitaph of Leonard P. Matlovich, 1988 (Thanks, Marlene)

Axe wound, bearded clam, catcher’s mitt, cunt, tuna taco, snatch, twat… all these words are common North American slang terms for the vagina. Funny? Possibly. Disturbing? A little. So what do they all have in common?

A negative connotation to a beautiful body part.

Why must most vagina referrals be negative? Why has our society attached shame and repugnance to a part of the body that not only brings pleasure, but life itself?

Well I can sit here and ponder the origins of our sexual distain… blame the church, our patriarchal system, the Victorian era etc however the past can’t be changed, regardless of its origins. So, the future is what I look to.

How do we change these beliefs into something more positive? Well, we start with art.

The book Petals, by Nick Karras, is an amazing body of work which contains nothing more than the pure, untainted black and white photos of women’s vulva’s. As up close and personal as an eye can get, Karras captures the essence of true feminine form and diversity in these stunning images. No names, no faces, just raw uncensored genitals in their entirety.

I was moved when I first saw Karras book. Not because I was shocked by the images (although the diversity of the vulva is much greater than porn leads us to believe), but because I knew how difficult it must have been for the women to take off their cloths, release there inhabitations, break down the shame many have attached to their vaginas and spread their legs for the world to see.

That courage and pride in their true feminine form is – in my opinion – something worth spreading. So… I spread it (pun intended). Karras new book, Petals 2, is a color version of his original and yes, I am honoured to say I’m in his new artful masterpiece. Of course I’ll NEVER tell which photo is mine, however I’m still proud of the fact that I was able to embrace my pulchritudinous vulva and spread my legs for the future societal path towards vaginal beauty.

So I leave you with this….. love canal, slice of heaven, honey pot, grassy knoll, jewel box, crack of heaven.

Smirking or Non Smirking

Sex education has become a passion of mine since I started in the field. Perhaps it’s the combination of public speaking and the shock value I get from candidly discussing everything sexual that I enjoy so much. Or maybe it’s the feeling that arises when I can see light bulbs click on over the heads of the audience. Either way, I’ve come to enjoy the expressions that result from the words “Does anyone know what this is for?” (as I hold a 4 foot flogger in my hand), or “Let’s talk about all the health benefits to masturbation”.

Now don’t get me wrong, not all of my presentations have been hugely successful. I’ve fallen on my face while attempting to show the proper whipping techniques, I’ve ripped a condom while trying to demonstrate safe sex practises and I’ve offended a gorgeous transsexual woman by not using the proper cis-gender terminology. However, through these highs and lows I’ve learned a lot and I’ve gained an even deeper passion and appreciation for the sex education movement.

Because of this passion, and the fact that I’ve “NEVER” met a person to date that hasn’t had at least one sexually related question to ask me, yes thats a quote… and you can quote me on the quote unquote I’ve decided to extend the blog page to include your questions. Please feel free to write me any sexually related quagmire you may have in the ‘Ask Teesha A Question’ section of this page.
(All questions asked will receive a detailed response, and will be treated with strict client/counsellor confidentiality)

So, click on the link and spill your guts because I know you’ve been wanting to ask somebody!

Ask Teesha a question!

I met with Annie today and it was nothing less than awe-inspiring. She spoke about everything from her one woman shows, to her battle with breast cancer. She shared details of her production of ‘Public Cervix Announcement’, which involved using a speculum to show thousands of people her cervix… live…. on stage.

Other shows involved her masturbating to orgasm in front of the audience, lying naked on stage while being covered in dirt, and recreating her history of bad fellatio experiences with multiple dildos. Annie doesn’t just ‘perform’ however; she lives the life she presents. Not too long ago she was faced with breast cancer. Contrary to what you may think, this didn’t stop Annie in her sexual path. Instead she faced the cancer with such humour and vitality that I was inspired. With her partner, Elizabeth Stephens, Annie made the first cancer erotica that was photographed and displayed for many to see. During the ‘sexual session’ the pair shaved off all of their hair together, while becoming even more sexually connected.

I sat and listened to Annie and her partner attentively, as the stories progressively got crazier and the pictures juicier. I wasn’t just blown away by Annie’s history however; I was blown away by her current work. Annie and Elizabeth are on a quest to help save the earth from pollution and destruction, and have chosen to come at the issue from an unusual position.

Their belief? To look at the earth as your Lover, not your Mother. To become Ecosexual in your love for the earth, by honouring and cherishing it until death brings you closer together. I was captivated by this idea and vowed to become ecosexual as well… afterall you know what they say don’t you?
Recyclers do it twice, and twice as well!

Annie’s message was clear and inspiring, so I thought I would do my part in spreading the news. Please recycle your old sex toys (www.sextoyrecycling.com) and support causes such as ‘Fuck for the Forest’ (www.fuckforforest.com). If you’d like to know more about Annie Sprinkle you can check out her website.

A couple came in to see me because they were both troubled by the fact that the husband was having erectile issues. I began questioning the man about his masturbation techniques however I could see he was uncomfortable describing his solo work in detail, so…. I decided to grab a dildo and use it to demonstrate what I meant.

The dildo – which had a suction pad on the bottom of it so it would stick out like an erection when placed against a wall – makes demonstrations much easier; except on this particular day of course. I began slamming the dildo against the wall as hard as I could, trying to get it to stick, but alas, it still wasn’t working.

I felt like an idiot.

I decided to give up on my attempts to ‘stick-the-dick’ to the wall, and instead try my hand at sticking it to the table. This paid off….. for a moment. As I was demonstrating I suddenly felt the dildo come loose and before I knew it, it had flown off the table and across the room nearly hitting the poor wife in the face! She literally had to pull a Matrix move and duck to miss it.

I was mortified.

I tried to explain that I don’t normally throw dildos at clients heads…. during the first session at least…. but I could see in their eyes they weren’t impressed.
That was my first paid client. Impressive, eh?