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I try to make my rants on here as educational as possible by throwing in the odd statistic or society shocking must read book. But this week I’ve decided to skip most of the “did you know” part and veer more towards amusing (although I’m sure if you manage to sit through the Killing Us Softly Video you will learn something).
Enjoy

The Good…. Messages Worth The Air Time

The Bad…. Killing Us Softly (Advertising and its effects on women)

And The Funny???…. Sex in Advertising

Petals

Click here to watch a short clip on the making of Petals

Axe wound, bearded clam, catcher’s mitt, cunt, tuna taco, snatch, twat… all these words are common North American slang terms for the vagina. Funny? Possibly. Disturbing? A little. So what do they all have in common? A negative connotation to a beautiful body part.

Why must most vagina referrals be negative? Why has our society attached shame and repugnance to a part of the body that not only brings pleasure, but life itself?

Well I can sit here and ponder the origins of our sexual distain… blame the church, our patriarchal system, the Victorian era etc however the past can’t be changed, regardless of its origins. So, the future is what I look to.

How do we change these beliefs into something more positive? Well, we start with art.

The book Petals, by Nick Karras, is an amazing body of work which contains nothing more than the pure, untainted black and white photos of women’s vulva’s. As up close and personal as an eye can get, Karras captures the essence of true feminine form and diversity in these stunning images. No names, no faces, just raw uncensored genitals in their entirety.

I was moved when I first saw Karras book. Not because I was shocked by the images (although the diversity of the vulva is much greater than porn leads us to believe), but because I knew how difficult it must have been for the women to take off their cloths, release there inhabitations, break down the shame many have attached to their vaginas and spread their legs for the world to see.

That courage and that pride in their true feminine form is – in my opinion – something worth spreading. So… I spread it (pun intended). Karras new book, Petals 2, is a color version of his original and yes, I am honoured to say I’m in his new artful masterpiece. Of course I’ll NEVER tell which photo is mine, however I’m still proud of the fact that I was able to embrace my pulchritudinous vulva and spread my legs for the future societal path towards vaginal beauty.

So I leave you with this….. love canal, slice of heaven, honey pot, grassy knoll, jewel box, crack of heaven.

50th Anniversary of the Pill

Global TV and Me – Click here to watch video

It would be a service to mankind if the pill were available in slot machines and cigarettes were placed on prescription. ~Malcolm Potts, MD

May Is National Masturbation Month

The saying “Masturbation is like procrastination, it seems like a good idea at the time but in the end you’re really only fucking yourself”, has in my generation, been somewhat accepted as truth. Masturbation’s bad reputation has been around since before Victorian times and has earned much of its sinful stamp from the Roman Catholic Church. Others that have managed to push past the sinful connotations however, are often times still held up on the belief that it is an activity practiced only by people who cannot get access to “real” sex (hence the derogatory term “jerk” whose meaning has been influenced by the phrase “jerking off” slang for male masturbation, and its British equivalent “wanker” which translates loosely into “loser”).

In today’s scientifically based society one would hope that these negative views on masturbation would fade, given the fact that we have proven that masturbation leading to orgasm has numerous health benefits (sleep aid, eases depression, stress reliever, makes you look younger, helps alleviate sinus pressure, elevates mood, pain reliever etc and the list goes on and on).

But what is the reality of masturbation today?

Well it turns out that the frequency with which people masturbate is strongly influenced by their sex, age, ethnicity, religion, educational level, marital status and sexual orientation. So if science holds true, I could theoretically predict who often YOU masturbated by asking you a few simple questions.

Turns out, if you are a 25-35 year old white (or Hispanic) male, whose never been married, has a master’s degree or higher and categorizes themselves as “other” in the religious realm; then you’ve spent a lot of time playing sexual solitaire. I’m sure it’s no surprise that men on average report masturbating more often than women, but it may be a surprise to learn that among women, homosexual behaviour or identity is associated with a high frequency of masturbation, surpassing some males of heterosexual standing – depending on the factors listed above.

Despite “normative” factors, what does evolutionary psychologists says about “couch hockey for one” – a behaviour that seems disadvantageous for the point of view of reproductive success?

Well it’s possible that male masturbation is an adaptive behaviour because it gets rid of “aged” sperm that have been stored for some time and are no longer of optimal quality for fertilization. And masturbation in both sexes may simply be a by-product of selection for other behavioural traits that increase our reproductive success, like a high sex drive.

So with May being National Masturbation month, I suggest we celebrate! Lets drop our negative labels and do what biology has equipped us to do! After all, if God didn’t want you to masturbate he would have made your arms shorter.

Who’s Got the Biggest BALLS of Them All??

It wasn’t but a few weeks ago that I was faced with something far outside my comfort zone. Metaphorically speaking, my toes were hanging over the edge of the cliff and my heart was pounding. It was then that I asked myself… “Do I have the balls?”

Now, before I could take ‘the leap’ I was immediately distracted by my minds use of the comical saying. Where did it come from and why do big balls equate to something exceptional?

Before long I found my answer…. sperm competition and female promiscuity.

When you think about it, it’s obvious that our current sexual anatomy and physiology give us hints about the sexual behaviour of men and women during human evolution. For example, there is a direct relationship between testis size in a species and the degree of female promiscuity. When females are promiscuous, the competition between males of some species can continue AFTER mating – by means of sperm competition. The insertion of the penis can cause the ejection of sperm already present in the female from a previous mate, or part of the males ejaculate may coagulate into a dense plug that prevents later insemination by other males.

In species in which sperm competition is high, penises tend to be longer and testes larger so that a large number of sperm can be produced. For example, sperm competition is much more intense among chimpanzees than among gorillas, therefore the size of the testes is much greater in chimpanzees. In pigs (where mating is extremely ‘loose’) males have penises long enough to deposit semen directly into the females uterus and ejaculate can measure a pint or more in volume!

So how does the size of the humans testes compare?

The human testes, at 10-14 grams per testis, lie about halfway between those of a chimp and a gorilla (after accounting for differences in overall body size). Turns out, humans are about average-sized among primates as a whole. So what does this suggest? Female promiscuity and sperm competition have been factors in human evolution…..

And, the male with the biggest balls really does get the women.

The “O” Face

Video of Beautiful Agony: The O Face
The “O” Face – made popular by the film Office Space – is the facial expression one makes just as they are reaching orgasm. For as long as I can remember this face has been joked about in TV and media but has never actually made a move into the mainstream with any real erotic validity. Until now…

The website ‘Beautiful Agony’ has pushed the boundaries of the “O” Face by presenting viewers with just that; the raw face of an orgasm, nothing more nothing less. Not cluttered by words or descriptions, the site takes us on a journey of pleasure from one face to another. There are no actors, no editing and no faking. Just real faces of those brave enough to share their “O” Face with the world.

My view of the site? Brilliant.

It’s about time we sexualized more than fake breasts, large penises and Debbie’s travels through Dallas. In my opinion the site is also doing a great service to the pro-masturbation campaign of our time. Now although “masturbation” is not one of the seven forbidden words that have been banned from our airwaves by the Federal Communications Commission (those words in case you were wondering are piss, fuck, shit, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits) it might as well be considering the rarity with which it is spoken or seen of within our society.

By spreading the good word about sites like ‘Beautiful Agony’ and ‘IFeelMyself’, we are helping to dispel the negative connotations surrounding masturbation and creating a sex-positive space with which our youth can live. So please, help spread the “O” Face love, and show our generation that erotica can be simplistic, artistic and realistic.

Pornography for the Blind

In a society bombarded with sexual imagery and pornographic undertones, it’s hard to imagine that anyone could live among us and not see its presence. However when we step outside our egocentric box and look around us, we see that there are a large number of individuals that have yet to experience just this.

Who are they?

They are the porn industries forgotten clientele….the blind.
Most books are meant to be looked at and read only with our eyes, however Canada’s own Lisa J. Murphy has decided that that category is far too limiting. Murphy has written a book entitled the Tactile Mind, in which she takes the idea of written pornography to a 3D level. Inspired by the void of availability of erotic books for the visually impaired, Murphy has created a work of art that contains explicit soft-core images raised from the pages and accompanied by Braille text and photos.

Now I’m sure many would question Murphy’s consumer market, or lack there of. However few realize that there are currently more than 836,000 Canadians living with significant vision loss, therefore the market for the Tactile Mind’s 3D effects is greater than one might think. Creating this masterfully crafted book for consumers is however, a far more problematic process, as each book can take between 40-50 hours to create and is between 13-15 centimetres thick when shut! With all the man hours put into producing each copy, its asking price of $225 is therefore a somewhat reasonable price.

So, if you’re in the mood for some interesting 3D pornography grab a copy of Murphy’s Tactile Mind. Sure you may have a hard time understanding the Braille…. but really, no one buys porn for the articles anyway.

The Little Black Book

I was talking with a girlfriend a few weeks ago about her recent dating activity and she happened to mention her ‘little black book’. It was then that the question struck me…. Do people still physically use little black books? Or has it simply become a label for ones cell phone directory of sexting partners?

Well after a little research I learned that nowadays, it looks as though these books have fallen victim to the viral industry. The webpage ‘Bedpost’ is a free site whose tagline is “Ever wonder how often you get busy?” Users of the site simply enter details of their latest sexual encounter – in a calendar black book type style – which includes everything from how long it lasted and who it was with, to a rating of the experience on a scale of one to five. The site then creates a map of your sexual activity and generates your own statistics and tracks your averages. So now when you’re laying in bed at night ruminating over whether ‘Hump Day’ (Wednesdays) truly lives up to its name, you’ll have a statistically verified answer waiting for you at your fingertips. Now Bedpost claims that the password protected site is for personal private use only, but I’m sure many users are thinking, ‘what’s the use of tracking your stats if you can’t compare?’

If comparing and sharing are up your alley, then the website ‘I Just Made Love’ might be more your style, as it allows users to do this on a global level. Individuals simply input where they’ve just done the deed (using Google Maps to mark exact locations), whether sex was indoors or outdoors and which sexual positions they tried. So, if you’re curious about your cities action meter, or which country favours doggy style, give the site a quick look up and down. You might be shocked by what’s going on down the street!

Adam & Eve – Who Really Came First?

In the story of Adam and Eve the Bible professes that Adam was created first…
“And the Lord formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” (Genesis 2:7)
“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.” (Genesis 2:21)

When we look at animals across the planet and throughout time, we find that the male/Adam came first, female/Eve second story, just doesn’t really fit the bill. There are many known cases of female only species existing and thriving throughout civilization, however no male only species have EVER been discovered.

The common whiptail lizard (Cnemidophorus uniparens), found in arid environments in the south-western United States, is just one example of a female only species. These lizards reproduce parthenogenetically therefore no sperm or male lizard is needed. Oddly enough however, the female lizards do engage in sexual behaviour, but since neither animal has testis or a penis, there is no actual sexual penetration or transfer of sperm.

Another group of animals, referred to as bdelloid rotifers, are tubelike creatures that can be found in almost any freshwater environment today. This female only species are known to have existed for at least 40 million years, and they are not just one species but an entire class of invertebrates with at least 352 different species! That number alone accounts for an enormous amount of successful female only species on our planet.

So the next time you’re gazing at our beautiful environment consider the fact that she’s called Mother Nature for more than one reason. And when you’re at this weeks dinner party, and your husband or boyfriend thoughtfully asks you if you’d like one of his ‘ribs’, just shake your head and say, ‘No thanks honey – I’m finished – how about I give you one of mine’.

You CAN Have an Orgasm When You’re Dead!

Many people achieve a quivering orgasmic delight through genital stimulation alone, while others are blessed with their presence when their hair is stroked or their teeth are brushed. Yes, I said teeth not teat. There are known cases of women who experience orgasms whenever they brush their teeth (resulting in impeccable oral hygiene I would imagine), and others who get that unmistakeable tingling only when their eyebrows are rubbed. There are even the lucky few that could have an orgasm when they’re dead.

Turns out scientists are kinkier than we think. By simply stimulating the sacral nerve root (the headquarters for orgasms, along the spinal nerve) with an electrode, one can trigger an orgasm, even in the legally dead (this of course would only work on beating heart cadavers that are brain dead but whose bodies are kept ‘alive’ with respirators).

So, if teeth brushing, brow stroking, dead people can have one, what are 16% of women (the percentage of the female population reporting to have never reached orgasm) doing wrong? This is obviously a very complicated question with a multitude of possible answers. So instead or dragging you through pages of explanations, I’ll try and give the coles notes version of why some women have trouble reaching orgasm.

1.) Fear of failure and overly concerned with pleasuring ones partner
If you are constantly doubting your ability to please your mate then chances are you’re in a negative mind frame that is clouding your sexual satisfaction. If you’re focused too much on what you’re doing, and not how you’re feeling, then no amount of stimulation from your partner is going to bring about an orgasm.
2.) Not doing something that feels good to you
Are you being touched effectively? If your partner isn’t sure where your clitoris is or how to rub it just right, then it’s your responsibility to show them. Don’t fake it when it doesn’t feel good, as that causes repetition of ineffective touch and in the end, you both loose. You’re not receiving orgasms, and you’re robbing your partner of the knowledge and satisfaction of knowing what makes you climax.
3.) Internal dialogue
Many women find it hard to be ‘in the moment’ during sex. They are constantly thinking of other things, such as: “Do I look fat?”, “Do I smell?”, “Does he really love me?” etc. This internal dialogue distracts us from focusing on the moment and the actual touch of our partner. It’s virtually impossible to have an orgasm while thinking about how flat your stomach looks or when the last time you cleaned your sheets was.
4.) Failure to communicate openly and without guilt to ones partner
If sex is difficult for you to talk about, then you’re not alone. If you’re too ashamed to admit that you like to be bitten or that you want to incorporate your vibrator into your love life, then chances are you not going to reach your orgasmic potential. So, be as open and honest as possible, for only the truth will set your orgasms free.
5.) Medical reasons
Diabetes, urinary tract infections, overactive bladder, yeast infections, clitoral adhesion’s, depression (and anti-depressants), obesity, fatigue, constipation, STI’s, menopause, birth control and other medications are just a FEW things that can have detrimental effects on a woman’s orgasm. If you feel as though the first four issues mentioned are not a problem for you, then perhaps there is a medical reason why you’re having difficulty reaching orgasm. The best thing to do is contact your doctor and discuss your options with him/her.

It’s also important to remember that only 30% of women experience an orgasm through penetration alone. Therefore focusing all your attention on achieving an orgasm during intercourse can have discouraging results. Don’t rely strictly on penile penetration to bring you to climax, expand the time you spend on foreplay, don’t be afraid to stimulate your clitoris during sex and always be ‘in the moment’. As your mind is your largest sex organ, therefore if it’s not present, your body will have checked out long ago.